Dear Leia,

I forgot to do my check in on Tuesday. Probably because I was so stressed and worried about little bean.. 

• Went to my subsequent pregnancy group on the wed instead of Thursday but was alone with the facilitator because the last remaining girl had plans that night
• Thursday saw my OB filled out all that paperwork with the girl who i’m assuming was a nurse that was helping her out. That was hard because she wanted to know all the same information that my Dr already has. Plus the hospital in Hamilton already has this info too.  She asked me about my loss, why, how, how long etc.  Then asked about heart problems in the family. Boy where do I start?  Talked about my mom and her dying and I could tell that the girl was so very sad for me. She kept saying I’m sorry and looking down.  All my blood work came back A’OK and there was no problems with little bean.
• Friday went for a 2 hour Glucose test to screen for Gestational Diabetes , this test isn’t usually done at 22 weeks but because I had it before they want to make sure I don’t now. I gladly went in for it, and had a chance to finish up my book. The blood work part wasn’t fun, they can’t ever find a vein so it’s always painful and traumatic
• I also visited with my cousin Jenn and my aunt for a little bit at their store. It was nice to see Jenn even if it wasn’t for very long and they were super busy
• Didn’t do much of anything on the weekend just watched some movies and lazed around the house
• Monday woke up with the blood situation and spent the next 24 hours worrying
• Tuesday had the US at 2 and was relived to find out everything was perfect and measuring on time

Today I need to do laundry but I have no energy at all to do it.  Tried to have a grilled cheese but it’s not agreeing with me.  I might go down to the library and see if I can find a good book to read.  No plans at all for the weekend which is nothing new.

Missing you like crazy, and of course my mom too :(

I love you now and forever

Mommy

• stress
• grief
• love
• loss
• life
• death
• dying
• pregnancy