Someone I used to work with requested my friendship on fb. I said thought we were already friends she said she deleted me after I lost Leia because she was pregnant and didn’t want to jinx it! wtf.. Who says that? Is that how ppl see me?? #angry #sad #pregnancyloss #takesalottopissmeoffoh then said hope you understand…ummm nope. #delete #block #screwyou
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
9. Don’t dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It’s never too late for an apology.
34. Don’t pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Don’t make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don’t stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Don’t litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
Because I’ve recently gained new followers/readers I thought I’d make it a little easier for them to understand how this blog got started.
In May 2011 I decided to document my pregnancy through letters to our child who was growing in my tummy. We had just found out we were expecting. It was a suprise after years of trying, we literally stopped (I went on the pill because I had a bowel resection done the previous Jan), but a much welcomed one at that.
I had no idea that anyone would read what I wrote or care about our little peanut. I had no idea that this would turn into love letters that she will never get to read.
Sept 2011 I wrote my last letter to her while she was still inside of me. We had just started an RESP for her, had two baby showers, the nursery was finished and we were almost finished our birthing classes. The first of many letters written to her after she was stillborn was on Thanksgiving 2011.
I’ve written many since then trying to explain what happened even though I have no clue myself. I’ve included personal photos, and poured my soul out here. Many people have written to me to let me know that they fell like they can talk about their angel, because of me. Or that they have gone to the hospital, hugged their living child a little longer or been an advocate for their own health.
Without rehashing what did occur too much surrounding Leia’s death, I will say that I still feel guilty. I knew something was wrong and yet let the midwife push me into believing it was all in my head. Finally convincing them to get me an ultrasound on Monday Oct 3rd probably saved my life, although it couldn’t save Leia’s.
We found out that day she had no heartbeat. Hearing those words confused, angered and shattered everything I knew. It was impossible, so unfair, such bullshit. In the movies you see people who go through stuff like this, but not in real life. Not to us.
They began the induction after telling us she was breech giving us no options of a c-section. I have no idea what went on to this day. I hear babies being born. I saw dr’s, nurses, I was polite, I cried, I ate. I was in a daze. I hated my mother for not being with me. I hated the midwife, hated myself, wanted to die.
My water broke on Thursday Oct 6th at 7 am. I was sitting on a leather chair crying and telling the nurses that I wanted to end this torture. It had been 4 days since we found out, 6 since she had died. I couldn’t take it anymore. Then bam it all started to happen.
She was born around 4 pm that afternoon, breech labour with the epidural not working at all. She was taken from us so fast I didn’t hold her, didn’t want to. Wanted my life to just end. Bleeding started the placenta came out in chunks pieces forcefully taken from my body from the doctor. I cried screamed and begged for it all to stop. I am not even sure they sedated me. I didn’t get anything for pain afterwards that’s for sure, not to take home with me.
Going home with a box instead of a baby wasn’t right. There was memories of her everywhere and she hadn’t even got a chance to see any of it. Some how we got through the weeks, months, years since it happened and I still see things that belonged to her. I use them now for my son. Her brother born Nov 26 2012.
We found out we were pregnant days after my mom died, oh did I mention that part? Six month to the day Leia was born sleeping, my mom left me too. We were part of a grieving group for parents who have lost babies. It was all too much. Ryder literally saved my life. I would have killed myself if he wasn’t conceived. We hadn’t even tried for very long two months tops.
Leia’s due date was 11-11-11, instead of giving birth to her I got a tattoo. Her tiny feet prints with her name on it. My husband would get the same one in the same spot months later.
Ryder’s feet prints are on my other arm with his name on it. His due date was 12-12-12. A sign from Leia.
Now he is 15 months, a chatty smart beautiful boy who you will see a lot of here. I love, and miss Leia every day. Guilt, regret and heartache still gets to me, but there is also so much Love for Ryder that I can’t help be happy.
Feel free to use my inbox send me a message let me know your story, and I am truly sorry if you are here because you have had a story similar to mine.
Please help me raise funds for Bereaved Families of Ontario. Without them my marriage wouldn’t have survived. I wouldn’t have survived.
We will participating in this event as well as celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. In leiu of gifts we will be collecting funds for Bereaved Families of Ontario.
Please check out our Go Fund Me page and share it. Every dollar counts. Reblogging helps get the word out there. 100% of all donations (minus the fee Go fund me takes) will be given to BFO.
10 years is a HUGE milestone for us with everything we have been through. Pregnancy loss tears families apart and more times than not marriage ends in divorce because of it. Without the help of BFO this might have been our case.
It will be an afternoon of fun for the whole family as teams hit the bowling lanes and strike up support for BFO-MR programs. Anyone who wants to join in the celebration will be asked to collect pledges and prizes will be awarded for high score, best team spirit and top fundraiser!
All proceeds go to Bereaved Families of Ontario. They rely on funds raised to enable them to continue to offer quality support groups and programs. Their continued support has helped us as bereaved parents more than I can ever repay.
I have always hated this saying. Stay Strong. I have written about it before. It just bothers me so much that it’s not socially acceptable to fall apart and cry. Why should I stay strong??
Why would I want too? Why can’t you just let me grieve openly, honestly and for as long as I want too.
It has been 2 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days since Leia was taken from us. It doesn’t feel like that long to be honest, but sometimes it feels like forever.
Guilt takes over a lot for me when I think of how I barely write to her. How life has gone on without her. How I love her brother so much to the point where I hope people don’t think I’m being over protective. That I’m spoiling him. So what if I am? Who cares?
Our loss has made me a better mom. I don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t freak out about the normal mom things, but at the same time I’m more on edge. I don’t let him sleep with a blanket still, there are no toys or bumper pads in the crib. And he had to sleep on his back. Now I can’t stop him from stomach sleeping with his butt in the air but I used to move him back.
For once I’d love to see people tell someone who has lost someone they love, to let it out, to cry all they want, to remember the good times but also grieve as long as they want too.