I write of my journey back to light and life after the darkest days I ever knew through letters to my children. Leia watches over her brother Ryder from Heaven. The letters are not magic wands that can bring her back or how I turned tragedy into triumph with the birth of our rainbow baby. It is, however, the truth of what good can happen when you decide that you love someone so much, you just can't say goodbye.

Happy Easter 2014

Happy Easter 2014

An artist at work #Easter2014

An artist at work #Easter2014

Happy Easter in Heaven my sweet girl. Xxoo

Happy Easter in Heaven my sweet girl. Xxoo

Dear Ryder,

Friday we took you to the doctor because you still weren’t feeling that great. Of course you being the ham you are walked around the office wearing a mask. Everyone thought it was funny.

The Dr said you had a slight ear infection. We weighed you 26 lbs now! We went to shoppers to get the prescription and you walked behind the shopping cart.

Saturday our friend Rod from up north came to visit. He lives a few hours from here. It’s been a while since we have seen him. It was nice to catch up.

You jumped in his arms right away and loved giving him high fives. we went out to try your bike for the first time. It was a beautiful day and we had lots of fun.

Took a lot of photos with the camera. Sunday we hung out at home played with the new shapes toy.

A few days before you have decided to tell us you are batman. Daddy said in a low voice you were batman and sure enough you started to say it back over and over.

The favorite game to play now it’s where is Ryder. You play peek a boo and put your hands on your eyes.

Sunday night we went to see Logan. Been far too long since we hung out. He’s so cute waving and walking so good.

This Friday we will be going to party with other babies through mom’s town. We haven’t done anything with them either in a long time.

Right now you are having a long nap so I’m trying to catch up on house work.

Love you lots

Mommy

Xxoo

Watch "Baby says he's batman" on YouTube

Baby says he’s batman:

Dear Ryder

The last few days we have gotten out of the house to enjoy the beautiful spring weather. Nice to open windows and not be couped up!

You were pretty sick all weekend but by Monday just a runny nose. Took you to Lisa’s while we went to hospital. Lorenco was sleeping but woke for a bit before we got there. She sent me photos of you guys playing. Sharing socks and snacks. So cute.

We were at hospital for daddy. He had something done so we won’t have any more babies. Which means you won’t have a living sibling that comes from us. Never know what future holds for adoption or fostering though.

Tuesday was a sad day for mommy. It has been two years since Nana died. I spent the day in my pjs playing with you. Lite a candle wrote some poetry. But I was upset still. I miss her a lot.

Wednesday night we did one is fun and your little friend Oliver was there. We haven’t seen him in a while. You guys played for a while.

We went to the sensory room where we talked with other parents about the walking not walking dilemma. I’m still okay with you not wanting to do it though. You played with a few new friends.

I love that room the most. So many great fun toys in there including educational ones. Mostly IKEA toys too. Your girlfriend (the girl who works there) popped in to see you. You were tired and getting cranky so we left instead of going to music and movement.

Today we had library school. You got to see another friend Alyssa that you haven’t seen in a while too. You guys are the same age give or take a day.

Singing songs and reading books are what we do there. But you sure wanted to be teachers pet. Crawling over to her rocking chair to get close for the story. She brought out balls after and all you babies had a blast.

It was like a mini dodge ball event. You kept losing the red ball but finally got one that turned colours.

I keep wanting to bring you out in the bike but something comes up. Today you took a five hour nap so we didn’t do it. After supper I was going to but it was windy.

Tomorrow I promise! We go to the dollar store every day I swear and I keep forgetting to get sunscreen.

We play a game of peek a boo but it’s where’s Ryder. You put your hands on your face and hide. So cute!

Bought you a shape block since the rings are too easy. Fun to watch you figure it out!

5 weeks till momo comes!

Love you

Mommy

Dear Ryder,

I love you

Mommy

Dear Ryder,

I love you

Mommy

Starting the kid early #Nintendo #want #need

Starting the kid early #Nintendo #want #need

Watch "16 month knows A B C ,`s" on YouTube

16 month knows A B C ,`s:

ETCETERA theme by Hrrrthrrr






























































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Letters to Leia
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